As If
by White Belt Writer
Summary: Jane and Casey sit down and discuss the marriage proposal, which leads to an interesting conversation. Tumblr prompt. RIZZLES. Slightly cracky and fluffly. ONE-SHOT.


**Inspired by a prompt by argyle-s on tumblr.**

**Enjoy and please R&R.**

* * *

'_Thursdays at the Robber are the best,' _Jane decided as she took another swig of her beer, compliments of Casey. After his proposal the other day (or "ultimatum" as Maura liked to put it) they had decided to sit down to a casual dinner at the local cop bar and fully talk it out; should they marry or should Casey return to active duty?

"-You have to admit that I'm convenient to have around the house. I cook, clean, _and_, with the right incentive, do massages." The last note on his 'resume' was accompanied by a very suggestive eyebrow waggle.

Jane hummed as she swallowed her beer and smiled.

"_Incentive_, huh? And what exactly would that entail, _Lieutenant Colonel Jones_?" she asked while leaning over the booth table.

"Well," Casey replied, leaning forward as well, "A number of things, actually: kissing; wearing provoking outfits; wearing_ no_ outfits; and various other things of that nature. All of which, we can do anytime we please, if you say yes."

"Hm, sounds like good times," the detective replied lowly as she leaned even further, "What else can I expect if I say yes?"

The army officer leaned close enough to Jane that she could feel his breath on her face and spoke in a voice just above a whisper.

"Well, there will be romantic dinners, walks in the park, views of the sunset-"

"Sounds nice," Jane interrupted, leaning ever closer and closing her eyes.

"-You won't need Maura so much-"

"What?!" The detective's eyes snapped open at the same time she jolted back from Casey's awaiting lips. "What do you mean I won't need Maura? She's my best friend!"

Looking a little wide-eyed, Casey leaned back and held his hands up in the universal sign of 'I'm-not-a-threat-please-don't-kill-me'.

"_Easy_, Jane. I'm not saying you don't have to see her anymore."

Jane let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm just saying you don't have to rely on Doctor Isles to take care of your needs from now on," the Lt. Col. said, throwing out the comment as he took another swig of his own beer.

Thoroughly confused now, the detective asked, "What _needs_?"

Grabbing a fry and dunking it into ketchup, Casey answered, "You know, your sexual ones," before popping the fry into his mouth and reaching for another.

The brunette sat up ramrod straight and fixed her now steely gaze onto her boyfriend. Through teeth that she just barely managed to keep un-clenched, she demanded, "Come again?"

The blonde man rolled his eyes. "Oh _come on_, Jane. You don't have to hide it from me. I know, and I get it! I was away for months on end; you got lonely. Maura was there and the two of you decided to a little 'spanky-spanky' on the side to keep from going crazy since I was away and Maura doesn't have anyone."

Jane's jaw dropped as she stared at the man sitting across from her: blinking and trying to process what he had said in her head.

"-It's completely understandable," Casey continued, thinking that Jane was shocked he had figured it out, "She's an attractive woman, to be sure, but you don't need to do that with her anymore because you have me now, and I'm all that you need. Right, Jane?" he asked, feeling very smug for taking it all so well.

The brunette could feel her eye twitching.

The army officer leaned back, crossed his arms and closed his own eyes before adding, "'Course, if you really like _that_ sort of thing, just so you know, I am _not_ opposed to having the occasional three-some. Like I said, Maura is a very-_what the hell!_" Casey sputtered as his face was suddenly soaked from someone splashing what smelled like beer into his face.

He opened his eyes to tell off who ever had done it, only to discover that his girlfriend was holding her empty glass in her hand and looked pissed.

_Really_ pissed.

The blonde opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but Jane beat him to it.

"Not. A. Word. Jones," she growled out lowly, looking like a wild cat poised to strike at any moment.

Casey shut his mouth and leaned back into his seat, visibly cowed by the fierce woman. What was going on, he wondered. He had never seen Jane look so-so…_furious_ before. What happened to his Jane? The one who was like a kitten compared to this version?

"First of all," Jane stated, gaining back Casey's focus, "Maura would never want to sleep with you, let alone in a three-some. She's _so far_ out of your league you're not even playing the same sport! Second of all: she and I have never had sex with eachother. _Ever_."

Casey opened his mouth to object. Surely they must have had sex at sometime? There was no way two people that close were _just_ friends!

"_I'm not finished!_" Jane spat out, shutting the man up once again.

"And third of all: I have never cheated on you. Not. Once. And the fact that the idea of me cheating doesn't bother you concerns me. Do you know what that tells me?"

'_Oh shit,'_ Casey thought.

Jane stood up. "It tells me, _Lieutenant Colonel_," Jane sneered, "That you and I don't have the same ideas on what a relationship means. Namely that couples don't cheat on eachother."

The detective grabbed her jacket and purse and began to walk away from their booth, headed towards the door. Casey turned, opening and closing his mouth like a fish as he watched her leave.

Halfway there, Jane turned around and said, "Oh, and by the way; fourth of all? You had better accept that promotion; 'cause there is _nothing_ for you here in Boston."

With that, the brunette turned smartly on her heels and stalked out the door, leaving behind Casey: literally; figuratively; and best of all; with the check.

* * *

"-And then I said, 'Oh, and by the way; fourth of all? You had better accept that promotion; 'cause there is _nothing_ for you here in Boston.'" Jane said as she paced the floor in front of Maura's couch whilst the doctor sat and listened to the events of the evening.

"So that's it? You're not marrying him?" the doctor asked.

"Not a chance!" Jane retorted as she took another swig of the beer Maura had handed her the second she'd walked in. "I'm done with Casey; once and for all! And you know what? Good riddance! Ma didn't like him anyhow."

"I still can't believe Casey thought you and I were sleeping together," Maura mused as she sipped her wine.

"Yeah, I know, right! I mean, _really_: like I'd bother with his sorry ass if you were willing to sleep with me!"

Jane had gotten fully across Maura's living room and halfway back before what she had just said was fully processed by her brain and stopped her dead in her tracks. Swallowing hard, the detective turned to look at her friend, her mind racing to come up with a good excuse for what she had just blurted out.

But her mind came up with nothing and Maura was staring at her and this could ruin everything and-

"What makes you think I wouldn't be willing to engage in sexual activity with you?"

Jane just looked at her, her face doing an imitation of Casey's when she'd left.

Not knowing quite what to say, she automatically exclaimed, "You're straight!"

Maura placed her glass on the coffee table and stood up, smoothing her skirt as she did so. "Not necessarily. There are many theories that believe that sexuality is fluid and that as such there is no such thing as 'straight' or 'gay'. There are personal preferences, sure, but they can change as easily as your taste for certain foods change as you age and mature."

Somewhat stunned by the blonde's admission, and a little thrown off by her latest 'Google-mouth' spiel, Jane didn't realize the doctor had moved until she was standing right in front of her.

Tilting her head in that way that the brunette found just super adorable, Maura asked, "Do you want to engage in sexual activity with me, Jane?"

Jane blinked and looked at the blonde and was about to say no when she stopped and _really_ looked at her. Although her face would have seemed merely curious to any random onlooker, the brunette recognized that beneath the curiosity was something else. She thought she recognized what that something else was and then everything just, clicked.

"No Maura. I don't want to engage in sexual activity with you."

Her heart breaking at the crushed look on Maura's face at her words, Jane cupped the blonde's face and sealed any words she had been about to say with a gentle kiss on the lips, to which the doctor responded to after only a moment's hesitation, burying her fingers into the brunette's hair as she did so.

When the both finally came back up for air, Jane continued, "I don't want to do _'sexual activities'_ with you, Maur'; I want to make love to you. And not just that either: I want to take you out. I want to go for walks in the park or on the beach. I want to have dinners at restaurants where I can show you off to the world and ones here or at my place where I can have you all to my self.

"I want to cuddle with you on the couch and watch movies and cry into your shoulder when the damn dog dies. I want to listen to you ramble on about the randomest of things-yes I know it's not a real word, I'm spilling my heart out here so work with me, okay? Thank you. I want you to be there when my family is being, well, my family and I need someone to vent all my frustrations to. I want you to be the person I go to when I get a case that's just too damn hard.

"I want all that and like a million more things, but the bottom line is that I. Want. You. Okay?" the brunette finished nervously, watching the blonde's face as she took in and contemplated everything she had just said.

After what felt like an eternity, Maura dragged her fingers out of Jane's hair and wrapped her arms around the detective's neck, pecking her on the lips and saying, "Agreed."

Jane furrowed her brow. "To what?"

Maura smiled and the brunette felt like it was the most beautiful smile she'd ever seen the doctor do.

"_Everything."_


End file.
